Victim Blaming

Victim blaming is the term for any language or behaviour that implies (whether directly or not) that a victim/survivor is partially or fully responsible for abuse they have experienced. This type of behaviour can wrongly place blame, guilt or shame on a survivor and cause them to feel a lack of control over their own safety. Victim blaming is often used as a tactic by perpetrators to gain power and control over their victims.

Despite the fact that victim blaming is harmful, many people do not realise they are doing it. This can be especially true of professionals who work with victims/survivors, such as therapists and prevention advocates. Some may also find it difficult to believe that someone they know and care about could be the victim of a crime, so they will rationalise it by blaming the victim.

When a victim tells you about their experience with an abusive person, what you say can have a huge impact on how they move forward. Survivors can become isolated and mistrusting of the outside world after being blamed for what happened to them, so it is important that those around them are understanding and supportive.

A person who is victim blaming you will most likely be doing it because they hold certain beliefs that make them think it is acceptable to blame victims for their abuse. This includes the belief that the world is a just place and that “people get what they deserve”. It can also be a defence mechanism to avoid feeling guilty about abusing others or to justify their own actions.

It is important to challenge victim blaming when it happens, particularly as the first person a survivor confides in can have a huge impact on whether they report their abuse to the police and seek support. The first person a victim tells their story to can be the person they trust most, so you must ensure that they are believed and supported.

You may not feel ready or able to correct the victim blamer in front of you, but it is vital that you speak up and let them know that what they have said is hurtful and inaccurate. It is possible that they will not listen to you, but if they do then this can be a great step towards changing the way they think.

Survivors of violence, including sexual assault and domestic abuse, often experience feelings of trauma, self-blame and low self-esteem following their experiences. Being victim blamed can further compound these feelings and discourage them from seeking help, leading to prolonged suffering and isolation.

When confronting a victim blamer, it is important to be firm and confident. You can use statements such as: “It was not your fault”, and “It is not your responsibility to protect her”. You can also challenge their beliefs by explaining why they are incorrect and providing evidence from sources like the rape crisis line or domestic violence organisation. Educating the wider community about how to respond to allegations of abuse can be another powerful tool in eradicating victim blaming. Speak to your local rape crisis centre, domestic violence nonprofit or women’s organisation for guidance on how to do this.