How to Stop Victim Blaming
Victim blaming occurs when victims of crimes or any wrongful act are held entirely or partially at fault for the harm that befell them. Whether it is motivated by fear, lack of empathy or even by a desire to take pleasure in another person’s suffering (the German word for which is “Schadenfreude”), victim-blaming can be damaging to victims and society as a whole. It can compound victims’ suffering by shaming and stigmatizing them, and it can reduce the accountability of those who cause harm, making harmful acts more likely to continue.
While it is hard to completely eliminate victim blaming from our culture, there are many ways we can work toward a more positive and respectful response to trauma. It starts with being open to understanding how people who perpetrate victim blaming think, and then it moves onto actively challenging victim-blaming perspectives, especially when they are voiced by someone we know or trust.
There are a few key reasons why victim-blaming is so common and so damaging. One is the fundamental attribution error: the tendency to attribute other people’s actions solely to their own internal characteristics rather than a variety of external factors that might also have played a role. It is a psychological phenomenon that can be very difficult to retrain.
The other reason is the just-world phenomenon, which is the tendency to believe that everything in life is fair and that good things happen to good people and bad things to bad people. It was first argued by Melvin Lerner in the early 1960s and is a powerful force that can make us feel better about ourselves when we believe that bad things only happen to unworthy others.
A third reason is the tendency to project our own uncomfortable feelings, which can lead to a feeling of inadequacy when we see someone else being hurt, so we may try to compensate by blaming them for their unfortunate situation. Lastly, there is a strong desire to be perceived as morally good and virtuous, so some of us will attempt to justify our own victim-blaming by arguing that it is only natural that we feel this way since everyone else does.
When a loved one shares their experience of abuse with you, it takes a lot of courage to do so and it is important to respect that. If you find yourself asking questions or judging them, stop and think about what you’re doing and why. You may need to have a conversation with them about how they have chosen to share their story, what they’ve experienced and why it was never their fault in the first place.
In the end, it’s important to recognize that the way we respond to a survivor can have an immense impact on their ability to seek help and heal from the trauma they’ve suffered. Negative responses can encourage a victim to hide their experience or stay silent for fear of being shamed and condemned, which can increase the likelihood of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression and suicide in survivors. However, a supportive and respectful response can help to decrease these risks by increasing empathy and healing for victims of abuse.